Loving you
by Brometheus
Summary: Lavi/Allen week is here all! these are my submissions! Day Eight: Allen finally is able to end their suffering. very very late. :\ sorry. FF.n failed me. DX
1. Chapter 1

Culture Shock

_AN: As I write this, I am completely stranded without internet. =_= thank god its not over the actual week of Laven week. That would make me want to punch a baby or something.... DDDD: _

_Also, I'm basing the tailgating party off an episode of "Monk" so... ^^'' please don't get offended._

_Anyway... just a note for the story... when I say 'football' I mean American football. Not soccer... so yeah... keep that in mind _

_HAPPY LAVEN WEEK~!_

_**August sixth: culture**_

----

Why Allen allowed this was beyond him. It was loud. It was stupid. And above all, it was... _American_. Now, that isn't to say Allen disliked Americans, he thought they were loud, sometimes ignorant, and rather bossy but otherwise good people. They made great food. Big, greasy cheesy hamburgers and giant juicy steaks, fried chicken, barbequed beef ribs, smoked pork chops so tender they practically melted in your mouth- the list would have gone on and on if Allen didn't shake his head to clear it when he started thinking about the food. Anything meaty or on a bun was pure bliss. Anything meaty _and_ on a bun was just downright _orgasmic._

Allen sighed, wishing he was sinking his teeth into one of those giant American cheeseburgers he had grown so fond of instead of being dragged around by his Canadian boyfriend in an over crowded parking lot. Lavi had insisted that while they were visiting the beautiful city of Pittsburgh (though beautiful was not the word Allen would have used to describe the city) on their road trip across The United States of America (another thing Allen was questioning), they just _had_ to see the 'big game' because apparently it was the Steelers against the Chiefs, two of Lavi's favourite teams playing in the same arena.

At first Allen had thought it was a nice game of football so he agreed to go to the game and to the tailgating party beforehand as well, whatever that was. Of course, Lavi had intentionally omitted the teeny, tiny fact that it was _American football_. American. Not the one where you actually use your feet. And they tailgating party wasn't what Allen had expected either. It was a bunch of chubby, meathead, over muscled men with the odd woman in the mix, drinking, burning hamburgers on charcoal grills, screaming at each other over who was going to win, doing bad cheers, throwing Frisbees, smoking, painting their chests with the colours of their team, and just being generally obnoxious from Allen's point of view.

What the hell possessed Lavi to even _want_ to go to such an _annoying_ place?

"Isn't this awesome, Allen? Isn't it? You've never been to anything like this have you? Being the adorable little brit you are. Heh, isn't American culture great? We don't have anything nearly this crazy in Canada, unless you count the hockey games eh? Even then its too bloody cold to have tailgating parties." Allen forced a smile and nodded, wishing they were at a hockey game instead of making their way through a crowded, smelly, and loud parking lot full of screaming football fans.

"This certainly is an experience, Lavi..." An experience Allen would let him enjoy while it lasted before making Lavi promise to never include him in again._ Ever_.

"I'm glad your enjoying yourself, Allen! I thought doing something cool and new together would be fun, but in Pittsburgh there isn't a whole hell of a lot to do aside from watch a football game. Thank god we're only here for a couple days eh?" Allen kept smiling and nodding, not wanting to rain on Lavi's parade. The redhead grinned and waved at some people who seemed friendly, joining in with the yelling and bad cheering as he pulled Allen along with him.

"Yeah..." Allen sighed, eyeing a steak sizzling on one of those big American grills longingly. He would have given his right arm for an English crumpet, some warm tea and a massive American cheeseburger right then...

----

The crowd was roaring and Allen was covering his ears, wishing with everything he had that he a brought a pair of earplugs to relieve the sound of thousands of people screaming at each other, the refs, the players and the coaches. Lavi, the ever loud Canadian redhead he was, screamed right along with them, throwing in the odd insult in his faint accent.

"Lavi, do you really have to yell?" Allen shouted over the screaming crowd, dearly wishing he was in a soccer stadium instead. At least it if was soccer he would know what was going on in the game, and might actually know why people were cheering.

"That's the whole point of coming to a football game, Al-babe! Screaming till you're hoarse and loving every second of it! Come on, try it!" Lavi patted Allen's shoulder encouragingly, conveniently forgetting that Allen knew next to nothing about football what-so-ever. Even the name of it didn't make sense to him, but that was another issue entirely.

"Okay..." Allen swallowed nervously, taking a deep breath and joining in Lavi and the crowd, cheering and being politely rude to the other team, even though he had no idea what was going on in the game or why the Steelers had ten more points than the Chiefs.

Allen cheered when Lavi cheered, booed when Lavi booed and when the game finally ended, the Steelers screaming in victory, Allen rubbed his throat tenderly, wondering why he let Lavi talk him into 'cheering' on a team he knew nothing about. They waited until it wasn't suicide to attempt to leave, making their way through the chattering crowd to try and get back to their car.

It took twenty minutes to reach their parking spot through the crowd and they sat in traffic for another hour and a half, trying to get through the gridlock caused by an accident on the highway. Allen was exhausted and Lavi was getting irritated with the drivers honking at each other.

"Oh for God's sake. Can you believe that guy, Al? Christ!" Lavi stuck his head out the window and shouted in his already hoarse voice, "Learn to drive you fucking MORON!" he received an angry honk for the other driver and Lavi cursed in French, flipping the finger at the man in the red sedan as they finally broke away from the mess of cars and pulled onto a nearly empty street.

"Lavi, can we just get beck to the hotel? I'm exhausted..." Lavi looked at his boyfriend and smiled, patting his knee.

"Sorry love, I know. You're not into the whole giant social gatherings thing with screaming people... thanks for putting up with me." Allen sighed, tilting his head to look Lavi in the eyes.

"Its fine, but don't bring me next time? Unless its real football and not American football. I don't understand that game in the slightest..." Lavi pulled up to their hotel and parked, leaning back against his seat tiredly.

"I'll make it up to you..." Lavi smiled mischievously and Allen rolled his eyes. "But seriously, thank you for coming with me, babe. It wouldn't have been the same. Let's just thank god we're leaving tomorrow, yeah? On to the next city and onto things we both actually want to do, yeah?"

Allen nodded and yawned, getting out of the car and stretching, as he walked up to the hotel room door and unlocked it. "As long as we don't go to any more American football games, and you promise to buy me one of those giant hamburgers I love so much you're forgiven." Lavi chuckled, wrapping his arms around Allen from behind and burying his face into his shoulder.

"You got it, babe. I'll take you to an art gallery or something, okay?" Allen nodded as they stumbled into the dark room together, wanting nothing more than to collapse into the bed with those warm arms encircling him. After a flurry of teeth brushing, changing clothes and rustling blankets they did just that, settling down together under the stiff, slightly scratchy sheets of their cheap hotel room together.

"Good night, Lavi. I love you." Allen mumbled, already dosing off as Lavi snuggled close.

"Love you too, Allen..." Lavi settled against him, their bodies pressing close in a warm embrace in the slightly chilly room.

Smiling softly in the dim light Allen stroked his lover's face, "I'll follow you anywhere, Lavi, even if its unfamiliar to me." Lavi didn't respond, his breathing even and gentle, already deep in sleep. Allen chuckled, draping his arm over Lavi's strong neck and closing his eyes, ready to spend the night in the comfortable hold Lavi had on him. ready to spend his forever walking with the man who had captured his heart.

----

**End**

_AN: awww I like this one...its a little short but its sweet and full of goofiness. :) see you all tomorrow!_

_Thanks to __**Dhampir72 **__for her Betaing~_


	2. Chapter 2

From Night, Comes Day

_AN: Yay~ Laven week day two~_

_Prompt: New day_

_Cannon, Allen first person_

_Please enjoy and review~_

----

Night has always been a difficult time for me. In the hazy memories from before I met Mana I remembered terror, I remembered being alone and vulnerable, surrounded by a darkness so thick I could hardly breathe. I remembered the ghouls that lurked in the haze of night, the ones that only a child's mind could conjure up. I remembered the fear that would grip me as I curled into myself, counting the seconds until the sun rose and I could make my way through the world bathed in sunlight again.

The people who roamed the streets of night were another thing that terrified me. Maybe more than the demons my mind created. I'd heard the horror stories of the older street children who hadn't been quick enough to get away. No one would ever tell me what happened to them, but now that I'm older, I'm glad they kept that from me. There are some nightmarish visions that shouldn't taint a mind when it's so young.

Even after Mana and I found each other, the night held fear for me. I would curl up his lap after a nightmare, trembling in terror as his arms came around me and soothed my fear away. But he could never completely take away the visions that lingered on the edge of my consciousness; he could never banish the fear for good, because the next night I would crawl into his embrace, trembling all over. I hated how I was so weak, so alone when the black velvet of the night sky pressed around me, blocking out my vision, muting my hearing, taking away my air. Even now, at sixteen years old I felt that way some nights.

I didn't see the same demons as when I was a child. My mind created new ones for me to suffer under, images of my friends, people whom I cared so much for, bloodied and in pain when I could have saved them. The order, my home, in ruins, destroyed when I should have stepped up to protect it. The souls of all the Akuma I've slain over the years. The life I've come to know and love vanishing into dust before my eyes. The sound of my father's voice after I betrayed him in the worst way imaginable, trapping his soul in that twisted metal body. The one I love lying lifeless and cold at my feet, his blood dripping off my hands.

I sat up at the last thought, sighing and rubbing my eyes as I looked around the room. I didn't shake in fear anymore because of the night, but sleep often evaded me. Sometimes it was my cursed eye giving me trouble, activating and spinning around and around and around until I was so dizzy I hardly knew which way was up. But the root of my insomnia wasn't my curse. I often wished it was, because I would probably get a lot more sleep if it was.

The sleeping man beside me stirred slightly and I looked at him with a smile as he pulled the blankets up until nothing but his fiery red hair was visible. Lavi always was an adorable sleeper. He moved around a lot, mumbling quietly or cuddling up against my body as I tried to sleep. The first several nights we slept in the same bed it had been strange to see someone so active in their sleep; I hadn't noticed it when we shared hotel rooms. I had never shared a bed with anyone, let alone someone who moved so much in their sleep, but it soon became soothing to me. The soft murmur of his voice in my ear and he cuddled my body close in the dead of night had lulled me into sleep more times than I could count.

Sometimes I got a little jealous of Lavi's uncanny ability to sleep. Honestly, the man could sleep anywhere and in any position. I once caught him snoozing in a tree branch one summer afternoon when he was avoiding his bookman work. Another time he had been sitting upside down in one of the plush library chairs as he read and fell asleep like that, hair grazing the floor, book still loosely gripped in his hand. It was endearing but to have him snoozing away beside me at four in the morning was somewhat frustrating.

This particular night, I knew that nothing was going to allow me to sleep so I just lay there, counting the tiles of Lavi's ceiling, mulling things over. Stress often caused my insomnia, and the lack of sleep often caused more stress, making it a rather vicious circle when I got pulled into a particularly nasty bout of restlessness. I tried my best not to get grouchy and no one but Lavi seemed to notice. Well, Lavi and Link noticed but that was it thankfully. Explaining my insomnia to anyone else would only make the others worry and I didn't want that. Lavi worried about me enough for everyone, and Link didn't really care as long as I didn't do anything suspicious.

I furrowed my eyebrows as I remembered one day when I had collapsed from exhaustion. It had been just after Link was assigned to 'stalk' me and Lavi and I had agreed that it would be best if Link was kept in the dark about our relationship. That meant no sleeping together. And for me that meant extra stress on top of everything else.

I had been walking with Lavi, eyes drooping as Link trailed behind us, taking notes on something or other when all of a sudden my legs just gave out and I dropped towards the stone floor. I vaguely remember being caught before I actually landed, but everything went black and I finally got some much needed sleep. When I opened my eyes again, Lavi was asleep in yet another awkward position, draped over an infirmary chair. Link informed me that I had been asleep for about nineteen hours and he demanded to know the reason. I was annoyed to say the least, so I asked him if he'd ever gone six days without sleeping.

That led into a long conversation where he suggested my insomnia was caused by the fourteenth and I went off on him, still over tired after not sleeping enough for just short of a week. When a hand was very suddenly over my mouth, I couldn't really do anything but blink in surprise as the events unfolded before me.

I remember Link looking utterly shocked as Lavi grinned, wrapping an arm around my waist and leaning his chin on my shoulder, saying with the mischievousness of a child; _"Sorry, Two-Spots. My Allen here has a hard time sleeping some nights. Especially when I'm not in bed beside him._" needless to say from then on, Link made no fuss about where and who I slept with. As long as I met up with him before breakfast and went away with Lavi just before we went to bed, he didn't say anything.

I was incredibly grateful for that.

"...Allen...?" I started from my thoughts and turned to Lavi as he blinked sleepily at me, "... can't sleep?" I smiled and rolled on my side, stroking Lavi's cheek affectionately as he struggled to keep his eye open.

"Nope. But you should." I murmured quietly, not wanting to jolt him fully awake. He would insist on staying up with me, then end up falling asleep in some unheard of position halfway through the day. I didn't want him to get in trouble with Bookman so I continued to stroke his hair and face soothingly, pressing a light kiss to his forehead.

"But you're awake..." I could hear in his voice slur with exhaustion as he fought the losing battle against sleep.

"It's only a little while until sunrise. Just go back to sleep, Lavi." the redhead nodded and I moved closer to him, pulling him flush against me, resting my chin on the top of his head. Lavi buried his face into the side on my neck and sighed, allowing himself to be held. I did that most nights I couldn't sleep. Pull Lavi into my arms and stroke his hair until he mumbled and rolled over or kicked at me in his sleep or something of that nature.

Within moments Lavi was breathing evenly, mumbling quietly about something to himself as he fell asleep in my arms. I smiled, gently running the fingers of my left hand through his hair. I loved doing that, but I didn't really do it while Lavi was awake. I knew he wouldn't mind, but it made me nervous to think about what kind of face he would make should I do that while he was conscious.

I heaved a tired sigh as I continued to play with Lavi's hair, looking out the window at the lightening sky. I always found the morning after a sleepless night a bit depressing, like I wasted the only time I got to sleep over thinking things. But as light spilled into the room as the sun slowly rose as woke the world outside of Lavi's window I couldn't help but smile a little.

After all, a new day meant that my inner demons vanish, even if just for a while.

----

**END**

_AN: HA! I did it. :3 this one too me forever to write for some reason. Oh well. :3 happy Laven week everyone!_

_Also. The completely Beta'd version of this seems to have vanished. I am unamused. I fixed what I remembered and I will repost it again when I get the chance._

_thanks to Dhampir72 for betaing both chapters so far!_


	3. Chapter 3

Cleansing

_AN: DD: sorry if this is a bit rushed! The idea for this was originally supposed to be about 3-4 chapters long and I had to cram it all into this little one shot. Its also unbeta'd so I'm sorry if it sucks..._

_Laven week, day three_

_Prompt; __**ocean**_

_Cannon_

_Err; there are a lot of POV changes. So yeah. Sorry ^^''_

_Enjoy!_

----

"ALLEN!" Lavi screamed, swinging his hammer wildly, destroying akuma after akuma, desperate to get to his struggling lover. Kanda was too far away and too outnumbered to be of any help. If something didn't happen, and happen soon, Allen was going to die. Lavi gritted his teeth, unleashing seal after seal, not caring if he was reckless, not caring or feeling the burns on his hands and arms from the fires around him.

It wasn't supposed to turn out like it had. It had just been a routine mission, just checking out some akuma sightings and a possible innocence together then splitting apart to go to their own solo missions. Lavi, to China, Kanda to Africa, Allen to Northern Ireland. It was supposed to be a short, easy trip to an ocean side village, a simple couple of mindless akuma to slay and then they were to be on their merry way.

But it was a trap.

Tyki Mikk, the Noah bastard himself had carefully planned, placed every piece of their deadly game on the board and surrounded them before they could blink. He was out for blood and he wasn't going to stop until he got it. He was going to Kill Allen.

"NO!" Lavi was irrational, he couldn't lose Allen, he couldn't lose the only person who had ever given a damn about him. Not again. The card that was always in his pocket felt like a lead weight, and Lavi let a frustrated cry out as more akuma blocked his path. Allen was fighting a losing battle on a seaside cliff, and all Lavi could to was smash any akuma he could reach as he tried to get to the younger man.

There was a pained yell and Lavi turned his head to the sound of his lover's voice. Time slowed to a crawl as he watched Allen's body being thrown over the edge of the cliff. "_Clown Belt._" Lavi thought desperately, as the boy's slender figure moved away from the ledge in slow motion. "_Please, Allen. Use Clown Belt._" But he didn't. Lavi saw the blood drip down from the wound on Allen's forehead; felt the vision of the crimson drops burning into his memory as Crowned Clown deactivated, and Allen's limp body vanished, plummeting towards the choppy sea.

The redhead felt an inarticulate scream leave his throat, unleashing a seal charged with so much energy that the akuma in his way were either destroyed or retreated from the raging fire and the Noah laughed at Lavi's horror, slipping away to let the two remaining exorcists suffer the lose of their prized warrior. Lavi paid him no mind as he charged towards the edge intent on diving off and dragging Allen back to the surface.

Just before he was about to do that, a pair of arms wrapped around his chest and pulled him back. Lavi thrashed, cursing the unseen person who held Lavi back from the one he loved.

"Get me go right fucking now! I have to get him! Allen needs me! GET THE FUCK OFF ME!" Lavi had tears streaming down his face as he tried to get out of the hold that Kanda had on him.

"Lavi, think for a fucking second! There's no way he survived the fall, let alone was aware enough to hold his breath! He's gone, and I'm not letting you kill yourself trying to save someone who is already dead! The order has already lost an exorcist!" Lavi's struggles slow and ceased as he went limp in Kanda's grasp.

"H-He can't be gone Yuu... he can't... Not again... please God, no... I can't lose him again... No, no, _please_..." Lavi felt Kanda release him, and fell to the ground sobbing. It was so unfair, so God damn unfair and painful Lavi couldn't think past the sobs wracking his body. He'd never been so attached to anything before Allen, never felt the pain of loss and now that he did he just wanted it to stop. _Please God, make it stop._

He wanted Allen in his arms, safe. _Allen. Please, Allen... come back..._

Lavi heard Kanda sigh and sit beside him. Not offering any words to calm him or upset him further, just sitting and letting the redhead cry himself out. Part of Lavi was grateful for that, he wanted to cry, he wanted to mourn, he needed to say goodbye somehow.

They stayed there for a long time, even after Lavi's sobs slowed and stopped. They just sat, neither speaking or moving. They just sat there together and stared out at the choppy sea, almost as if expecting Allen to rise out of the dark waters.

----

Something was wrong. The silver haired boy opened his eyes slowly, looking around blearily at his surroundings. It was very dim and cold and he felt the odd sensation of falling in slow motion.

"_Where am I?_" he wondered, watching his white bangs swirl lazily. "_Am I underwater? But I can breathe... this shouldn't be possible..._" he took a deep breath anyway, feeling even more confused as oxygen filled his lungs. He knew that he was definitely underwater and he could breathe, but there was nothing else. He couldn't remember how he'd gotten in such a peculiar position, nor could he place his name, age, or anything that he got the feeling he ought to know.

His eyes felt heavy suddenly and through the muted sounds around him he heard a soft murmur. A quiet voice telling him to rest and forget his worries. It was soothing to hear something concrete in his confused state. He closed his eyes without resisting and felt sleep cloud his mind further.

There was a soft glow in the corner of his eye and Allen cracked his eye open, tipping his head to the side to see a pale green glow in the depths of the dark water around him. "_Pretty..._" he thought absently as he let his eyes slide shut again and surrendered to the awaiting darkness.

----

There were very few things in this world that shocked Koumi Lee. The moment he learned his parents were dead had been a shock, as had the moment his little sister had been taken from him. The last thing Koumi remembered that had truly horrified him had been the files on the experiments that had been conducted in the order before he had arrived.

But this was on a whole other level.

"...Dead...?" the room around Koumi went silent at the word. All eyes glued to him as he stared down at his desk. Everyone was tense, waiting to hear who had left their ranks in a twist of fate, whose face they wouldn't see walking down the halls of the order. Which exorcist the order had to do without.

"How?" they heard the muted voice of someone talking, and Koumi gritted his teeth. "I see. Thank you, Kanda." Everyone held their breath at those words. If Kanda was on the phone, it meant that either Lavi or Allen hadn't made it. Koumi hung up and looks around, noting everyone's gaze.

"Supervisor..." Reever was the first to speak up when the silence grew too long. Koumi didn't want to tell them which of the two they had lost, though he could see in their eyes that many had assumed the wrong answer.

"... Please prepare for Kanda and Lavi's return."

----

"Father! Father! He's waking up!" dazed silver eyes cracked open and the young man groaned softly, reaching up to touch his aching forehead. He was rather surprised to find a bandage across his skin. How had he gotten injured again? He sat up slowly, wincing as his body ached miserably. Whatever happened, it had not been a pleasant the boy thought, rubbing his left shoulder tenderly. The door to his room burst open as a little girl hurried in. She was only a little thing, perhaps seven or eight years old with unruly red hair pulled into pigtails on each side oh her head. Her bright hazel eyes glanced at him nervously as a middle aged man walked in. He eyed the silver haired teen for a moment before sighing.

"Do you know where you are?" The boy on the bed shook his head. "Do you know who you are?" another no, and the middle aged man sighed.

"I see... another one huh?" he nodded to the little girl who smiles and scampered out of the room. The man sat in the chair next to the silver eyed teen and smiled. "My name is Jonathan Parker. I live with my family in a very small English village on the coast. You were found just outside the village on a beach, face down in the sand. Are you following me?" the boy nodded slowly and Jonathan smiled.

"Good. Now, you're not the first person we've found there, so we'll take care of you until you get back on your feet alright?"

"A-Alright..." The teenager's voice was scratchy and he winced, rubbing his throat.

Jonathan chuckled lightly and stood, grabbing a bundle of clothing and tossing it to the boy who caught it and looked at it curiously, glancing up at the older man curiously. "Those are the clothes we found you in. If you find anything that you want to keep you should separate it. My wife wouldn't mind having some scrap fabric, and most of what you were wearing was ripped to shreds. She'll be along later to collect the scraps."

The young man looked down at the bundle of clothes in his arms and furrowed his eyebrows as he started going through it. He didn't notice his host leaving the room as he sorted thought the ragged clothing. A jacket that had been torn beyond repair, a pair of matching slacks, and a plain white shirt that was in a little better condition than the other items was all that there was. A glint of metal caught his eye and the teen blinked, moving the folds of his coat aside. A silvers cross shone against the black fabric, barely dangling by a thread. The boy grabbed it, pulling it away and lifting it up to examine. Something about it struck him as familiar, and he smiled slightly, turning the cross over in his hand.

"Allen... Walker..." the name sounded familiar too, and considering it had been on his person when he was found, the boy decided that must be his name. Allen nodded to himself, mumbling his name under his breath a few more times to make sure he remembered it as he carefully examined every bit of the clothing he was found in.

Allen looked up at the sound of a creaking floorboard, and caught a pair of hazel eyes peering at him from around the corner of the door frame. The little girl watched him for a moment before stepping in with a shy smile, which Allen returned.

"Hi. My name is Lucy. Do you know yours?" The older boy nodded, chuckling lightly at her disappointed face.

"It's Allen, Allen Walker. I'm pleased to meet you Lucy." The young girl tilted her head to the side, eyeing him thoughtfully.

"Yeah... same here..." Allen smiled a little nervously as the child stared at him, seemingly deep in thought. Her fiery hair made him think of someone but Allen couldn't place just who that person was, or the sound of their voice, or anything he felt he should know. It was a little frustrating to know something, yet have no idea how to connect the little tug in the back of his mind to his memories.

"You look like a swan." Allen blinked in confusion as the girl nodded to herself.

"A swan? What makes you say that?"

"Well, your hair is white and you're really pale all over. So you look like a swan." The teenager chuckled and reached out to pat the little girl's head with a friendly smile as she stared up at him.

"Well you can call me a swan if you like, but I'm more likely to respond to Allen." She nodded and climbed up on the bed, crossing her legs Indian style as she observed the older boy. When she finally spoke, it was light, casual, childish conversation, but Allen found himself drawn into it. All of the little worries in his mind vanished as they talked. It was like all of the traces of his past were slipping away, slowly but surely.

Almost like those forgotten memories never existed at all.

----

By the time Lavi and Kanda arrived back at the order, everyone knew. The destroyer of time was gone. The gentle smile and incredible strength of Allen Walker had been stolen by the sea. Lenalee was the first to spot their approach and she tried to run to them, but she was ignored by the one she went to first. Lavi didn't wan to deal with her, even if she was his friend. He just wanted- needed to go into Allen's room and lay down on the bed, breathing in his scent. He needed to remember the cool summer nights they had spent together in that bed, the soft whispers they shared as they settled into sleep together. So he pushed past the teary girl with a carefully schooled expression of indifference on his face.

Lavi heard Kanda talking to her softly, feeling as drained as Lavi while he tried to convince Lenalee that nothing she could do would help. The redhead snorted as he moved away from the pair. Nothing Kanda had ever said before had been more accurate. Lavi was not someone who opened up to just anyone, and when he finally had that person had been ripped away violently, before his eye(s?).

He scowled to himself as he opened the door to Allen's room and flopped down on the bed, listening to the slam behind him. Allen's scent almost overwhelmed him and he bit his lip, breathing slowly. He wanted to savour it.

Lavi sighed and rolled over, pulling absently at a loose string as he looked at the familiar room. It was strange, sitting there without Allen. He couldn't recall ever just going in there to sit when Allen was gone; he had never been a very sentimental person so he hadn't really seen the point in just sitting there for no reason other than to be there. Now he was wishing he had. It would only be so long before someone else was assigned this room, before they would change how it looked and made it their own.

The redhead pressed his face against the pillow and gritted his teeth. He cursed himself for not doing something, even though as he went over the ambush in his head he knew that it had been a hopeless battle from the beginning. They had been separated and concurred, completely taken by surprise and defeated. Tyki Mikk hadn't even cared enough after getting what he wanted to finish the task of killing the other two exorcists.

The cocktail of emotions Lavi felt was exhausting. He was angry more than anything, at himself, at Tyki, hell, even at _Allen_. How many times had Allen promised him he would be careful? That he wouldn't die? Yet his body was lying at the bottom of the ocean, while the order was putting up a tombstone over an empty grave in respect. It was something Lavi feared more than anything, seeing that name engraved in stone. That finalized everything, made it real. To Lavi, a tombstone would be tangible proof that the one he loved was truly dead.

But for now, he let himself believe that Allen would open that door any minute and smile, like nothing was wrong ing the world.

----

Before Allen quite knew it, six months had passed by him. The Parkers had been so very generous to him, and Allen was very grateful; they had given him everything he needed. Mrs. Parker was just as kind as her husband, cooking large meals for Allen's insatiable appetite, taking him to the village tailor and getting him fitted for some clothes of his own, all of the things a mother would do for her child. It embarrassed Allen sometimes, how she would scold him as if he were her own, but he didn't mind. It felt good to be part of a family. He worked hard for them, doing any errands and chores he could to repay the family for their kindness, even if they insisted it was unnecessary.

The people in the village seemed a bit wary of him at first, because of his odd appearance, but they were willing to get to know him before passing their judgement. According to the villagers there had been four or five other people who had been found on the beach before him, which struck Allen as odd.

How could so many people end up in the exact same situation as him? And even then, how had they all ended up on the same beach? It seemed highly improbable that it was just a coincidence, and Allen sometimes felt that odd little sensation in the back of his head, like he knew something about it, but couldn't remember it.

He went to Jonathan one day about it, told him his theories and suspicions, and how he thought he had some kind of connection to the strange occurrence. The older man had listened patiently, smoking his pipe as he looked out at the ocean while he mulled it over.

"They say the ocean cleanses the ones who survive its waters. Tell me young man, do you think that you had a past you needed to be washed away?" Allen blinked, looking up at the man with furrowed eyebrows, turning to gaze at the sea as he considered this.

"I don't know. I feel like there is something important I should be doing. A mission I was on, or some sort of purpose I had that meant a lot to me. And I have dreams... there is a person out there somewhere who was my everything, but I can't remember their face..." the boy sighed, rubbing the scar over his left eye absently.

"You remember more than the others then. There was nothing of their pasts left in their heads at all." The man puffed on his pipe and looked at Allen thoughtfully. "I think that whatever your past may be it will return to you when you need it to. You're a special kid, Allen. Whatever that purpose is, it will come back to you if it is important enough." Allen nodded, still looking out over the ocean.

"Do you think I'll find that person? The one I've been dreaming about?" Jonathan smiled and nodded.

"Love isn't something that can vanish, Allen. You'll find each other."

The silver haired boy smiled as he fingered the silver cross he wore around his neck. "Yeah, you're right."

----

"I hate to ask this of you, Lavi, I wouldn't send you or Kanda to that area again if it wasn't urgent. There are no other exorcists available and the situation could get dangerous. There have been reports of akuma around a village to the south of here. There is a barrier of some sort around the surrounding area; the finders can't get in. Though, it seems certain people can get out. We've found five people who have left the barrier. All of which had their memories completely wiped before they turned up in the village. Kanda is going to meet up with you after he finishes his mission in France." Koumi watched the redhead's face carefully as he talked.

Lavi had changed so drastically in the months since Allen's death; no one really knew how to react ho him anymore. He didn't talk much, stayed in the library aside from eating, bathing, sleeping and missions. When ever he was in the presence of other people he was bored and detached, taking little to no interest in the conversation. The bookman was happy, as his apprentice had finally started doing things when he was supposed to and remain aloof.

Lavi hadn't felt any desire to keep playing the part he had created for himself after he lost Allen; he just let the persona he had created go to sleep so it would stop hurting him.

"Whatever. When do I leave?" the expression of boredom didn't change and Lavi could see Koumi was trying to see past the blank look in his eye. The fact that this innocence was so close to where Allen had died didn't really bother him as much as the older man thought it would. Lavi had forced the part of him that cared into a dark part of his mind, where it wouldn't do any damage.

"Tonight would be best." The younger man gave a short nod and stood.

"Anything else?" Koumi shook his head and Lavi left without another word.

The train ride was short and boring for Lavi as he sat alone in his private compartment. The book he had brought to occupy time was sitting in his lap, untouched, as he stared out the window thoughtfully. He found himself fantasizing about what his life would be like if Allen was still alive. He did that often, actually, even had dreams about it.

If he closed his eye, he could still remember Allen's smile, he could see every detail of his face and body as he laughed, he could hear the sound o his breathing as the boy slept in his arms. Lavi sighed and leaned against the seat, fingering the fabric of his uniform. It was depressing to just sit and think, so he shook his head, trying to clear his head of useless thoughts and unrealistic fantasies.

All he had now were memories and his bookman duties.

----

"Allen! Allen!" The white haired boy looked up from weeding the garden at the sound of his name and smiled as Lucy Parker ran over to him.

"Hey there, Lucy. What's going on?" the red haired girl stumbled and slammed into the crouched over boy, effectively knocking him over. The girl blinked at Allen who chuckled and sat up, helping her to her feet.

"Sorry, Allen. I'm excited." Lucy smiled brightly, smoothing her skirt out.

"Oh? Why's that?" Allen asked, pushing himself up and brushing the dirt off the back of his pants. The young girl bounced with a smile plastered all over her face.

"I saw a redheaded pirate!"

Allen blinked at him for a moment, "A what?" she pouted as he raised an eyebrow at her.

"A redheaded pirate! He was walking down Main Street towards the tavern! He had crazy wild red hair and an EYE PATCH. A real live eye patch! It was so cool." She paused as Allen wiped his hand on the cloth he had kept near by. "He didn't have a peg leg though... and when I asked him how he got his eye patch he just ignored me." Allen sighed and patted the girl's head, offering her a smile.

"Well, I'm sure the redheaded pirate doesn't like talking about it. Try to be a little more tactful about what you ask people Lucy." The child huffed and crossed her arms, flipping a messy bang out of her eyes.

"Yeah, yeah I know... hey! Let's go find the pirate! You're a boy so you like pirates because they're cool so you should come see the pirate!" and before Allen could even protest, Lucy had a firm grip on his wrist and had begun to drag him towards where she had spotted the 'redheaded pirate'. Mrs. Parker came out onto the front porch and Allen waved at her apologetically as Lucy pulled him away.

Allen rubbed his forehead absently as the scar tingled, allowing the little girl to lead him as he tuned her chattering out. The oddly shaped scar had been feeling strange lately, tingling at odd times, making him jumpy and giving him trouble trying to get to sleep. It was annoying but nothing Allen couldn't handle.

"Look! Look! There he is! The pirate!" Allen was pulled out of his musings as Lucy's excited squeal sounded.

Just ahead of them was a tall red haired man, he just kept walking away from then, even though Allen was sure he heard Lucy. There was an aura of annoyance around him as he trudged towards the beach. Allen blinked as he took in the man's black and red coat, something about it seemed familiar. Though, he supposed it could have just been the man who was wearing it. Everything about the retreating figure struck him as familiar.

His young companion made an annoyed noise as the man ignored them, "Aw, Allen, he's being mean and ignoring me! Just like before! He didn't even turn so you could see his eye patch!" the man's footsteps faltered for a second, as if he was debating something before he sighed and turned.

"Look, kid, I told you before, I'm not a pirate. Stop saying that-" Allen froze as he got a good look at the man's face. He had seen him somewhere. Allen knew those features. The single emerald eye widened in utter shock as the older teen caught sight of him, recognition flashing across his face as he faced Allen and Lucy fully.

They stood there for a moment, staring at each other as Lucy looked between the two of them in confusion, and Allen spotted the cross sewn to the other male's chest. His hand instantly came up to the one hanging around his neck and he looked up at the man who was so _familiar_ but at the same time a stranger.

Allen didn't know what to say, if he should say anything, or if he was just imagining things but the red haired man swallowed thickly, looking as if he was about to cry.

"A-Allen...?"

----

"_This kid is annoying._" Lavi thought to himself as the young girl bounced around him.

"Hey, you have an eye patch, are you a pirate? I've never seen a pirate before. What's it like? Do you have a sword? Have you killed anyone? Why don't you have a peg leg? I thought all pirates had peg legs. Oh well, its okay because you have an eye patch." She was smiling brightly, red messy red hair falling in her eyes as she looked up at him curiously.

"I'm not a pirate. Go away, kid." She ignored him.

"We don't get a lot of people come through here. Unless the live here. And we hardly EVER get pirates. Actually I don't know if there ever has been a pirate here." Lavi sighed and tuned her out; wondering vaguely if this was how Kanda felt when Lavi still talked to him like a friend.

"Oooh! I'll go get Allen! He'd love to meet a pirate!" and just as suddenly as the little demon child appeared, she was gone. Lavi blinked a little at the suddenness but sighed again, rubbing his temples. The kid had been down right bothersome, and the name she had so excitedly said hadn't gone unnoticed.

It was a bad habit of Lavi's to look every time he heard the name Allen, a little part of him hoping that he would see the white hair and slender body of his lover. So, that was probably why when he heard the annoying high voice of the little girl again, he hesitated, trying not to let hope surface.

"_I won't look back, because my Allen is dead and I don't want to see some kid with her brother or something. I'm not going to look. I'm not._" Lavi was going to keep going, but then he realised the girl had called him a pirate again. "_Oh well. I can't let her keep thinking I'm a pirate._" Lavi knew his reasoning was shaky, that he really wanted to look back because who ever the child had brought with her shared a name with the boy he loved, but he refused to admit it to himself. It was easier not to.

"Look, Kid. I told you before. I'm not a pirate. Stop saying that-" and that's when he saw him. All the words died in his throat as the teenager in front of him froze, silver eyes wide in surprise. There was no way it was real. Lavi told himself that as he faced them fully, eye fixed on Allen's face. He'd been there when the boy fell of that cliff; he'd witnessed Allen's death first hand this time. Timcampy hadn't played a blurry video, no one had implied it to him, it happened _right in front of him_. But here was Allen Walker in the flesh_ right in front of him_. It was like some kind of dream, but Lavi didn't dream anymore so it couldn't have been...

"A-Allen?" The sound of his own voice startled Lavi. He hadn't thought about talking, hadn't even considered finding it in him to break the silence between them, but he'd done it. He'd risked breaking the illusion that must have been standing before him.

"O-Oh, um... H-Hello..." The white haired teenager smiled nervously. "Um, do you... know me?" Lavi was surprised by the question, blinking rather stupidly at his lover.

"Um. Yeah. How the hell could I _not_ know you, Allen?" Allen winced slightly, looking very uncomfortable and that's when it clicked inside Lavi's head.

Allen didn't know _him_.

"O-Oh well... um... I-I... I lost my memories... recently... so um... who are you...?" That hurt Lavi, more than he had hurt since Allen's 'death'. His own lover not knowing who he was...

"I... I'm Lavi... we're uh... best friends..." Lavi swallowed, pushing away the hurt. Now wasn't the time for that. Allen didn't mean to forget anything, and once he remembered he would feel terrible for it so Lavi forced himself to forget about it. "I thought you were dead..." he took a couple of steps towards Allen and the boy didn't retreat. So Lavi broke into a run, throwing himself over Allen and holding him tightly. To feel Allen's body pressed against his, breath in his scent again, it was too much for Lavi.

He was embarrassing himself by clinging to Allen, trembling like a little girl and trying not to cry but he didn't care. "I-I thought... you were dead..." Allen was stiff in his arms, clearly uncomfortable but Lavi couldn't bring himself to pull away. After a moment Allen hesitantly wrapped his arms around Lavi, rubbing his back gently.

"I-I'm sorry..." Lavi shook his head, tightening his grip on the younger boy.

"Not your fault. D-Don't you dare blame yourself..." Allen swallowed and nodded, obviously not quite sure how to react to Lavi's affection. Finally Lavi pulled back, keeping his hands on Allen's shoulders, looking him up and down. He was a little taller than the last time they'd seen each other, but he still looked almost the same, the only real difference about him was his hair had gotten longer.

"So... you know me... from before?" Allen was hesitant to ask, but Lavi smiled reassuringly, the expression feeling almost foreign on his face. When was the last time he smiled?

"Yeah, we're really close... Heh, sorry I hugged you to death, Al. I just... well I never thought I would see you again and then well, bam, you're here..." Lavi wiped his eye, clearly embarrassed at his emotions and Allen smiled.

"It's alright, Lavi... um... why don't you come back to the house I'm staying? I'm sure we have enough food for one more..." Lavi nodded eagerly, mission pushed to the back of his mind as Allen took his hand to lead him away.

"Yeah, that would be great!"Allen nodded and grabbed the little girl by the hand, letting Lavi's go awkwardly and starting to walk. Lavi felt disappointed but once again pushed it aside. Allen was alive, and though he didn't remember anything, Lavi didn't care. They had time now.

----

It was late at night now, and they really should be sleeping but Allen found he really didn't mind. He and Lavi were sitting outside together on the grass, looking out at the ocean. Through out all of dinner with Allen's 'family' the silver haired boy had felt Lavi's gaze on him, and something about that knowledge made his heart beat faster. While they had been talking, Allen had been making connections to his life before he'd shown up on the beach outside this quiet little village.

"So... I'm an exorcist?" Lavi smiled at him, nodding as Allen looked thoughtful.

"Yup... I am too. We both work for an organization called the Black Order."

"That sounds familiar." Allen mumbled to himself, rubbing his scar. So many things Lavi had said made him feel like he should know about it, but his mind continued to draw a blank. "This is kind of frustrating." Lavi chuckled and wrapped his arm around Allen's shoulders, ruffling his hair with a smile.

"Don't worry about it too much, Bean sprout. We have time."

"I'm not a Bean sprout..." Allen mumbled, furrowing his eyebrows as Lavi chuckled. That name was ringing so many bells in his head it almost hurt. He heaved a sigh, leaning his head on Lavi's shoulder and closing his eyes. Lavi leaning his chin on the top of Allen's head and exhaled softly, making Allen smile a little. Normally, around people, he felt a little uneasy, uncomfortable with letting them in his personal space, but being close to Lavi felt like second nature. He felt Lavi's hand running gently through his hair and Allen leaned into the touch with a content sigh.

"... Allen?" Lavi sounded nervous and as Allen looked up, blinking a little at the slight blush on Lavi's cheeks. "Uh... how much do you remember about us?" the question was hesitantly asked and confused Allen slightly, but he thought about it for a moment for Lavi's sake.

"Nothing really... just that I'm really comfortable with you called us best friends." Lavi sighed, biting his lip for a moment.

"Well... Allen... we um... we're a lot closer than... best friends..." Allen's eyebrows furrowed in confusion and Lavi looked away for a moment, as if debating something with himself. When Lavi did move it was so fast that Allen hardly could blink before a soft pair of lips pressed against his own.

Lavi was... kissing him?

Allen didn't resist as the redhead pulled him closer, too many things were racing through his mind for him to even think of doing anything.

And then it happened. A memory came into his mind, then another and another. Allen groaned as everything rushed back to him in a confusing wave, the inundation of experiences overwhelming him as he tried to focus on each thing.

Mana. Earl. Akuma. Innocence. Cross. Timcampy. The Order. Lenalee. Koumi. Kanda. Tyki. Lavi. _**Lavi**__._

Allen trembled, feeling Lavi pull back as if scared that he had moved too fast and frightened Allen but the boy paid him no mind, hands coming to his head as he groaned in pain again. There was too much filling his head at once, too many connections being made at the same time and it almost hurt.

"Allen? Allen!? What's wrong?" The teenager could hear the alarm in Lavi's voice but there was too much going on in his head for Allen to try and reassure him. Lavi started checking him over almost frantically, looking far anything that would cause Allen any pain.

But then, just as suddenly as it started, everything clicked into place. His head cleared and he sighed in relief, slumping against Lavi. "Allen...?"

"S-Sorry..." he mumbled, burying his nose in the crook of Lavi's neck, "That was rather unexpected." Lavi huffed a bit.

"That's more than a little obvious, Bean Sprout. What was that about?" Allen twitched a bit at the nickname but let it go with a sigh.

"... I remember." Allen didn't pull away from Lavi, didn't need to see the look of surprise to know it was there. "I'm so sorry, Lavi... I... I forgot you... I don't know how I could have done that to you... god, I'm so sorry..." Lavi gently pushed Allen back, smiling at Allen's distressed look.

"Don't be sorry, Allen. It's not your fault. I'm not mad." Allen looked uncertain as Lavi brushed a lock of hair out of Allen's eyes. "I... I thought you were dead for six months... you really think I'd be angry about something like that? I'm just glad to have you back." Allen shrugged, feeling a bit embarrassed by his own emotions. It felt so strange to remember his life after so long of being in blissful ignorance. All he had known for a long time was his name.

"I've missed you, Lavi... I hadn't noticed it before but, God, I missed you..." Allen leaned up and kissed Lavi, feeling the familiar thrill as the redhead kissed him back, pulling him close.

"I'm here now, Allen. I'm here and I'm not letting you go again." Lavi whispered, and Allen smiled, leaning into Lavi's hold on him and closing his eyes listening to the ocean and Lavi's steady heartbeat.

They say that the ocean cleanses those who survive its waters. But as Allen laid there with the person who meant the world to him, he knew he would rather live with the past and have this present.

----

_**End**_

_AN: D: this is made of fail and unbeta'd but oh well. It took me too long to write._

_Happy Laven week all._

_Please review~_


	4. Chapter 4

The Joys of Technology

_AN: yay~ Day four of Laven week already! :D tomorrow is Lavi's birthday~!_

_Anyway, please enjoy this chapter~!_

_Day four: Connection_

_AU_

----

"This is stupid..." Lavi muttered to himself, rocking back and forth on his heels nervously. "This is seriously fucking stupid." But he didn't leave, continuing to stand in the designated meeting spot for a person he had met over the _internet_ for God's sake. He'd been told time and again by his grandfather to never go meet someone on the internet. Never give out your name, what your school is like, anything. Child predators were everywhere and waiting to get the opportunity to snatch up cute little boys and girls and take them away to do horrible nasty things to them.

But then again, Lavi was eighteen, and the person he was meeting had claimed to be sixteen, so he was starting to wonder if that made _HIM_ the child predator... The redhead heaved a sigh, scratching the back of his head as he scanned the street for his friend.

Lavi's online alias was Usagi, something that his best friend, Kanda Yuu had called him since they were children. The redhead wasn't quite sure why he was nick named 'rabbit' but he didn't really have any complaints. The person Lavi was meeting called himself "Crowned Clown" over the internet. They had met in a chat room meant for young men who were questioning their sexuality so they could have an anonymous place to chat and make friends with one another.

Lavi had figured he already knew he was bi, so why not talk to some other people around his age, maybe help them out in whatever way. Be a guiding light and all that jazz. It wasn't because he was interested in meeting other guys. Of course not.

He and 'Crowned Clown', or Allen, as he told Lavi to call him, had clicked almost right away. It was sort of hard to explain how one could really feel any sort of a spark over the internet, but there had been one. Lavi found himself wasting hour after hour on the computer, just to talk to the young man. It was kind of strange, how eager he was to talk to Allen, but he couldn't help himself. Something about the other teen was just so magnetic, even if he was only just words on the screen.

They had really never described their appearance to each other, now that Lavi thought about it; it had just never come up in their conversations. They'd always seemed to be able to find something more interesting and intellectually stimulating than things like what colour their eyes were, or what they were wearing. Now Lavi was wishing he had asked, because then he would at least know what to look for. He had been the one who volunteered to be the one who stood out.

And with his lime green shirt on, Lavi practically _shone_ in the early afternoon sunlight.

"U-um... Lavi...?" the redhead nearly jumped out of his skin when a gentle voice called his name, pulling him out of his musings. Lavi whirled around, heart pounding. The first thing he saw was white hair.

"_Oh __**SHIT**__. It is a pedophile!"_ was the only thought Lavi had before he took a step back, ready to bolt, but then he took in the rest of the young man before him and stopped.

His hair was pure white, yes, but his face was smooth and clear, flawless really aside from the jagged scar running over his cheek. His clothes were clean and a bit on the baggy side, but otherwise nondescript aside. Lavi could tell he was the kind of kid that people wouldn't think much of when they saw him, but Lavi found himself drawn into that same magnetism all over again. It was physical this time though, not just his words that attracted Lavi to him.

"Uh..." The 'intelligent' reply came without Lavi's consent, and he found himself having a hard time thinking of anything to say as he stared at the grey eyes in front of him. Allen was nothing like he'd imagined, and yet at the same time, it was better this way. Yet another thing about Allen to intrigue him. "A-Allen, right?"

The younger boy nodded, blushing a bit under Lavi's surprised gaze. "Yup... that's me..." he hesitated for a moment then held out his hand to shake. "Allen Walker. It's a pleasure to meet you in person, Lavi." he smiled then, and Lavi actually blushed like a young girl. The boy in front of him was just too cute for his own good.

"Ah, well... yeah... it's great to finally meet you too..." Lavi shook his hand a bit awkwardly, trying to ignore the nervous flutter in his stomach. He had never actually felt so strongly about a potential boyfriend before, and considering he and Allen had met in a chat room of all places he felt more than a little stupid.

"Yeah... so... um, should we get going? You said we would get lunch together, right?" Lavi blinked at him stupidly for a moment before smiling and nodding.

"Uh, yeah! I know a great place for lunch. And we could, you know, just hang out and browse shops afterwards..." The brilliant smile Allen gave him and eager nod that followed made Lavi swoon internally. Allen was by no means girly or overly effeminate like some gay or bisexual guys, but he had just a cute face and the attraction Lavi felt for him made everything seem better.

"That sounds great! Let's get going!" Lavi nodded and smiled, motioning for Allen to follow him.

Lavi could have died happy right then and there when Allen shyly slipped his slim hand into Lavi with a dark blush staining his cheeks. The boy was really just too cute...

----

"I had a really great time today, Allen..." Lavi smiled, walking Allen towards the front of his house. They had decided to walk to Allen's house as it wasn't very far from the main street. It was a pleasant and quiet neighbourhood, just the kind of place a kid like Allen would live.

"Yeah, me too..." the younger male fidgeted a bit, and Lavi couldn't help but smile wider. They'd truly had a good time together, making jokes as they looked at weird things in shops, holding hands whenever it was convenient, just doing things together and finally enjoying the true company of another person. It was like they had made a connection to each other. Long nights of staying up together, talking about nothing, but at the same time, everything had brought them closer than they had realised.

So when they finally stood on Lavi's doorstep, he couldn't help but feel disappointed that their first date, or at least he hoped Allen thought of it as a date, was coming to an end.

"Um... well..." Allen's fidgeting increased tenfold as he searched for his voice. Lavi smiled waiting patiently for the less experienced boy to collect his thoughts.

"M-Maybe... since we both had fun... we could do it again? Sometime soon?" Silver eyes looked up at him hopefully and Lavi's smiled widened as he nodded.

"I'd like that, Allen." The younger boy smiled back, licking his lips and leaning forward, pecking Lavi on the lips for the briefest of moments before pulling back, clearly embarrassed to the fullest extent of the emotion. With a rushed, "okaywellI'vegottogetinsidegoodnight!" he vanished inside the house, closing the door with a loud bang, leaving Lavi standing there, blinking stupidly.

When he finally regained his senses, Lavi couldn't help but grin, touching his lips oh so lightly. Allen felt the same connection he did.

---

End~!

Please review!


	5. Chapter 5

Age

_AN: yay~! The fifth day of Laven week~! :D :D _

_Happy birthday Lavi!_

_Just an interesting side note before we start... :) I wrote the first draft of this little fan fiction the day before my OWN birthday... ^^''_

_Anyway~ _

**Theme; Happy Birthday**

_----_

The day before Lavi's twentieth birthday found the young man in the order library, sitting in a plush chair with a forgotten book open in his lap as he stared out the window at the trees surrounding the tower. Normally, the day before Lavi's birthday was a day he looked forward too, a day he ran around with a massive smile, excited over the prospect of turning another year older, to have the spotlight on him. Even before he had joined the order it had been that way. The only day Lavi had ever remembered being able to acknowledge his existence, his humanity, was his birthday, so the day before was always full of excited anticipation. It was the day Bookman would pat him on the head, give him a small gift that would come in handy during their travels and allow him to choose a small treat from the nearest shop.

It was never anything near the extravagant parties the order threw for him every year, with a massive cake and music and being surrounded by friends who were all smiling and having a good time with him, celebrating with him. But somehow those memories of being a young child, pulling on the elderly man's coat excitedly as he saw the sweet he wanted or laughing in delight as he received a journal or an eagle feather quill were more precious to him than almost any others. Anything the Bookman ever did for him was worth a thousand times more than almost anything anyone could ever do for him. Expressing any sort of affection was against the clan rules, but the Bookman gave him just one day of the year to feel alive, to feel human. To feel his heart beating in his chest and cherish every second of it.

But this birthday was different.

The twentieth birthday of any Bookman apprentice was the make or break day. The day they officially came of age according to clan law. The day they had to choose whether or not he would continue down the path he was on and become Bookman someday or if he would pull away from all he knew, and follow another path. It was Lavi's last chance to change his mind before being bound for life to the title of "Bookman". It was the day Lavi had been dreading since his nineteenth birthday.

Lavi had been thinking hard on what the answer to the Bookman's question would be since just after dinner the night before. Sleep had been impossible for his troubled mind, no matter what he tried. So, Lavi had left his room and walked to the library, hoping to escape the inner turmoil coiling around in the recesses of his mind. He had been trained to go for days on end without sleep if he needed to, so one sleepless night wasn't truly that big of an issue but the topic that wouldn't let him rest _was_. Lavi honestly didn't understand was why he was so damn conflicted. He had always assumed that he would say yes to his mentor, to tell him he wanted to take his place someday, but the idea of going down a different path had tempted him. He had found friendship, he had found love, he had found everything anyone could ever want within the walls of the black order and he didn't want to leave. He didn't want to leave the persona 'Lavi' behind.

He didn't want to abandon any of the people he had come to hold so close. That included the order, and everyone in it but at the same time, that included the man who raised him. Lavi owed his life to the Bookman and he had been made aware of the fact long ago, while he was still in the secret base of the clan; going through the trials of his clan to even be considered for training under one of the many Bookmen. At first, as a young child, Lavi hadn't even thought he would be allowed to be taken under the guiding wing of a Bookman, he was smaller than the other children, younger, more vulnerable and naive. Yet somehow his mind prevailed over theirs and he was given the title of apprentice. If he had failed those trials he probably never would have seen the world outside of that secret cavern. If the Bookman he had come to call Ji-ji hadn't seen the potential his gaze held, Lavi would have become nothing more than a rat to the clan heads.

But that didn't happen. He'd won what he had always thought would be the hardest series of tests and trials he would ever face. And yet there he was again. Faced with a choice he didn't want to make and the time to sink or swim because of his own decision at hand. It terrified him to think that the thing he had worked so hard for, sacrificed everything for, was no longer what he wanted. It was no longer his purpose in life to be a Bookman. And looking back on the past two years, Lavi realised it hadn't been his purpose for a long time.

He supposed falling in love was the reason being a Bookman wasn't the thing he wanted most anymore. The moment he walked into the German hospital room with the orders to keep a special watch on one Allen Walker his fate hade been sealed. The moment that boy smiled at him and made the heart in his chest skip a beat, he subconsciously gave up the dream of being a Bookman. The second he kissed those perfect lips, breathed in his scent after they made love in his bed, played with his hair as he slept, held him as he cried for fallen comrades, and was held by him in the midst of pain, locked into place what Lavi had never thought would happen. He didn't _want_ to be Bookman. He wanted to feel, he wanted to laugh because he was happy, cry because he was in pain, feel his heart beating in his chest like every other person on the planet for just more than just one day of the year.

He wanted Allen.

Lavi sighed deeply, running his fingers through his tangled hair as he closed his book and tossed it onto the table beside him. It was nearly seven in the morning and he would be expected to make his appearance soon, expected to bounce into the cafeteria and grin like a loon, to act as if nothing was wrong.

"...Fuck." he muttered to himself, annoyed at the world along with everything and almost everyone in it. He didn't want to have to make earth shattering decisions, he didn't want to alter the course of his life with just a few words. He wanted to crawl into his bed, pull the blankets and pillow over his head and sleep until his birthday was done and over with so he wouldn't have to deal with anything. Either that, or run far, far away where no one had ever heard of the Black Order, the Bookmen or anything. He wondered if he kept quiet about it, would everyone forget it was his birthday in less than twenty-four hours.

"Lavi?" one emerald green eye snapped open at the sound of a familiar voice and Lavi turned his head to see his lover standing there with a confused look on his once boyish face. Time had done a lot to Allen, broadened his shoulders, put some hair on his face and chest. He had even grown several inches suddenly, that growth spurt he had always been insisting he would have one day Lavi supposed, and they were eye to eye when they both stood full height. Allen still had the gentle face that Lavi had fallen in love with, but that was slowly melting into the stronger, more rugged look that characterized men, he hadn't finished growing up yet. He wasn't quite a man yet, but Lavi could tell he was well on his way.

"Oh hey, Allen..." the redhead gave a weak smile and internally winced as white eyebrows came together in worry.

"What's the matter?" the younger man crossed his arms, the sleeves ridding up on his wrists just a little too much, signifying another round of grumbling for Allen when he realised he has to spend money on clothes again. It usually amused Lavi to hear his lover complain about money, considering he was still paying off his master's debts, but Lavi was not in the mood.

"Nothing."

Allen snorted, leaning against the table where Lavi's book lay forgotten. One of his silver eyebrows raising in disbelief, "Of course not. What's wrong?"

"I just said there is nothing wrong Allen..." Lavi didn't know how to put the anxiety he was feeling into words. He had been trained to put memories onto paper, explain every detail, but when it came to emotion, what he was feeling it was like he was in a dark cave without a match.

"Uh huh. Sure. What's wrong?" Normally Allen wasn't so pushy when it came to getting information out of Lavi, but he had some kind of sixth sense when it came to emotional things that were bothering his redheaded lover.

"... its my birthday tomorrow..." Allen looked interested but he waited patiently for Lavi to find the right words, "Its not like my other birthdays... I have to make a big decision, you know, Bookman wise... and I'm scared shitless." Allen blinked, his face becoming worried as he moved closer to Lavi.

"What kind of big decision?" the concern in Allen's voice made Lavi sigh, and he turned his blind side to Allen purposely, looking out the window in thought. He wasn't sure if he should tell Allen. He knew it was allowed, but Lavi didn't want to hurt Allen with the knowledge that Lavi was conflicted about whether or not he would leave Allen some day. "Well?"

"I... I have to choose... whether or not I go through with... becoming Bookman someday." There was a long silence as Lavi kept his gaze away from Allen, fearing the reaction his lover would have.

"Well you're going to say yes aren't you? Why is that bothering you?" Lavi jolted slightly in surprise, turning to look at Allen in confusion. The redhead had explained to Allen exactly what being a Bookman entailed at the beginning of their relationship, so the younger man knew exactly what Lavi meant. But there was no betrayal on his face, there was no anger or hurt or any of the things Lavi was expecting.

That's when Lavi realised that Allen had thought about this before, he had already come to terms to the fact that Lavi was in fact going to leave him heart broken and alone one day. He had prepared for it and wasn't going to try and force Lavi to stay. There was nothing but acceptance in those beautiful silver eyes, ones that were too old for the man that wore them.

"... Aren't you... upset... over that?" Lavi asked carefully, afraid to invoke any negative emotion in his lover, but unable to make his choice without the knowledge.

"Yes and no. Of course I want you to be with me, but... being a Bookman is important to you, just like being an exorcist is important to me. I... I want you to be happy, and if that means I'm not in your life, I can live with that. Being a Bookman is just as much apart of you as being an Exorcist is part of me. I don't know if I could give it up for you so I could never expect you to give up being a Bookman for me." Allen paused, wetting his lips as he looked up at the library ceiling for a moment in thought before returning his gaze to Lavi's face, "Whatever happens, I love you, Lavi, that's not going to change. So say yes if that's what you want. Don't worry so much about me. I'm a big kid now. I can take care of myself. I'm not going to say it wont hurt me when you go, Lavi, but I will keep walking, because I know that's what you would want for me to do."

The way Allen smiled as he said that damn near broke Lavi's heart. An eighteen year old boy had no right to be so mature, he shouldn't have to think like that, be alright with living in pain. A million things ran through Lavi's mind at once as Allen kept that powerful gaze on him. For a long moment he was overwhelmed by everything, the choice he had such a short amount of time to make, Allen's words to him, the lack of sleep, his own inner conflict, everything. his hands shook as he looked away from the man he had fallen in love with, running his fingers through the knots in his hair again, barely feeling the pull. Allen didn't say anything more, he didn't have to. He knew he had made his point and that Lavi had to make his own choices now.

After a long pause, Lavi stood and walked over to Allen. He placed both hands on the younger man's shoulder as his emerald green eye stared searchingly into Allen's deep silver, so aged by war and everything they had lost along th way. "Allen..." there was so much conflict in his gaze Allen sighed, smiling as his left hand came up to rest against Lavi's cheek lovingly.

"Do what you want, Lavi. Please. I want you to be happy."

"... you're too damn selfless, Allen..." Lavi mumbled, pulling the white haired boy into his arms and holding him close, breathing in his scent, "I don't care about being a Bookman anymore. I don't want to be one. Nothing else matters but you, me and the order to me anymore." Lavi pulled back and looked into Allen's eyes again, smiling as best he could through the forming tears.

"Lavi, you don't have to do that for me..." The younger man was silenced with a brief kiss for his lover as Lavi's arms tightened around him.

"There you going being selfless again. Let me make my choices. I want to do this for you so just let it happen, okay?" there was a long pause as Allen looked up at Lavi with a conflicted expression before he nodded slowly, almost like he couldn't quite believe that the man he loved was giving up something so big for him.

"I don't want you to have any regrets, Lavi." Lavi smiled, brushing the fine silver strands out of Allen's eyes affectionately.

"If its with you, for you, or to help you, I will never regret it Allen. I promise. Now... lets go get some breakfast, yeah?" Allen hesitated, knowing Lavi's words were genuine, but not wanting to hold someone he cared so deeply for back in any way. Finally he smiled, making Lavi's heart skip a beat, just like the first time he say that beautiful, perfect smile.

"Yeah, lets go." Allen stepped back, that smile still on his face as he held out his hand for Lavi to take. Lavi smiled back, his eyes still feeling a little hot as he took it, terrified yet at the same time ready to take on the future with the one he loved.

----

**END**

_AN: well that's all folks~! Hope you enjoyed this instalment of my Laven Week series! See you tomorrow!_


	6. Chapter 6

Personality

_AN: hey kids! Its story time! _

_Once upon a time I had a wonderful story written out for this._

_And then my computer threw up._

_And the story died._

_The end._

_D: so yeah a late, very short, crappy reproduction of the original. D: I'm sorry!_

_Laven week: day six: Caged_

_AU_

----

_Allen Walker was lucky to be alive._ That's what everyone said. I'm _lucky_. I get a second chance at life, a new beginning, a fresh start. But I didn't want any of those things. I didn't care enough to enjoy them, even if part of me tells me I should be happy to still be breathing. All I feel is apathy though, a numbness that sinks into my heart and blocks everyone out.

I shouldn't have survived that fire. I should have died with my father, then at least the coldness I felt wouldn't be consuming me, freezing me from the inside out. I hated how empty everything seemed. The walls of the hospital I was forced to stay in were blank and dead, the room was always silent save for when nurses came in to check on me, the eyes in the mirror that I saw every day, all of it. Empty, lonely, cold, everything I had never thought I would be.

It was worse than anything death could have held in store for me.

Living like this was like living in a cage that was too small. Sitting in a lonely place day in and day out without the freedom to move at all, restrained by bars and chains and locks that were too heavy to even try to move. No one came to visit, no one cared enough to make sure I was alive except for the nurses, but they were paid to do that.

A commotion in the hall made me look up. There was someone arguing with the nurses about something or other and I sighed in irritation. I didn't want to hear someone else's friend or family member or whoever fighting. I didn't want to think about someone else having a person they loved close by when I had no one. I was all alone in the world and-

"Allen!" the white haired teen jumped and looked up, eyes wide as a familiar figure ran through the doorway, slamming the door shut on an angry nurse.

"L-Lavi?!" The redhead smiled sheepishly, locking the door behind him as the nurse swore furiously.

"Hey, I don't have much time before they get the door open and get security to drag me away. Again." Lavi looked to the side with a small, guilty grin on his face. "How are you? Are you holding up okay? Everyone sends their love. Except Yuu-Chan. He said to get your ass out of the hospital because you owe him a rematch."

The redhead dug around in his pocket and pulled out a small package and a camera, tossing them to me with a grin. "Lenalee baked you a giant batch of cookies but that's all I could get in here. We held a memorial for Mana outside the ruins of the house. I took pictures and recorded it for you. Sorry I haven't been able to visit you until now; stupid nurse said you're 'not in fit mental condition' to have visitors. Bullshit right?"

I didn't even know what to say to him, so I just sat there, shocked. He chuckled and walked over, sitting in front of me on the bed with a smile. It was so strange to see anyone in that room with me, especially someone as bright and warm as Lavi.

"Uh..."

"Yeah! It totally is! So I snuck past security and the nurses but one caught me at the last second so I had to make a mad dash for your room."

"Oh..." I really couldn't think of anything else to say. Here was this person, my best friend, talking to me like nothing had happened, doing everything he could to cheer me up.

"So yeah, the nurse will probably be in here to drag me out in about five minutes." Lavi smiled, moving forward and pulling Allen into a careful hug. "You can get through this, Allen. And as soon as the stupid nurses let me in, I'll be in here as much as physically possible." He pulled back smiling, and I felt my heart warm a little, and I tried to smile back.

"Thanks... Lavi... I-" the nurse burst in at that moment, looking livid.

"Lavi, you little creep! You are not to see this patient until I give you permission!" I blinked at the exchange, watching as Lavi was dragged out complaining loudly.

"I'll sneak in again to see you soon, Allen! Hang tough!"

"Like hell you will! No one is to see the patient!" I sighed as the door slammed closed and Lavi's protests got fainter as he was dragged away from my room.

I let a tiny smile creep onto my face, unwrapping the crushed cookies Lavi had given to me. Perhaps living without Mana wasn't quite like being in a cage after all.

----

END, I PROMISE.

_AN: DX emoemoemoangstangstangst this was so much better the first time. Sorry!_


	7. Chapter 7

----

Allen sat back on the wooden bench he had set up in the back yard of his new home and smiled, enjoying the way the wind brushed against his skin like a gentle kiss. At twenty three years old, Allen Walker was already a very successful composer. His music was in high demand for movie sound tracks, and anime. Even several well known singers loved the way he made the notes on a page come to life and speak to people. Allen had earned a lot of money very quickly and had decided to buy a home out of the city, away from the distracting lights and sounds of Toronto, Ontario, the place he and his father had moved to just before his final year of high school started. Allen liked the city, but his mind was most clear in the quiet of the wilderness, with the symphony of nature being his inspiration.

Sighing contentedly, Allen leaned back, looking up at the endlessly blue sky through the dancing tree branches above him. He had chosen the little house on the obscure lake in the more wild part of the Canadian landscape because of the yard. It wasn't a garden per say, but the trees towered over the soft grasses and shrubs that had been tastefully planted here and there. They looked as if they had been well manicured at one point, but let to grow as they wanted, giving the whole place wild look. Wild flowers grew along side domestic bushes and the surviving garden flowers from previous years of planting. Pansies and dragon hearts were colourful splashes of beauty along side nodding daisies and dancing buttercups. Eroded stone stairs cut into the slab of granite jutting out of the sandy ground lead to the rickety dock that had proud cattails swaying in the early July wind that danced across the shallow water.

The entire property was beautiful, even if the house was a little bit of a fixer upper. Allen had all the time in the world to do just about anything he wanted with the place, which he intended to do in between composing his music and the travelling he sometimes had to do. It would be a challenge, though it was one Allen was looking forward to. Making his own little haven in the world full of shady music producers and sneaky musicians.

Moving to Canada had been an unwanted change for the young Allen Walker at first. He loved England, he loved the people, the rolling country sides and the old feeling you got from walking down cobblestones streets. There was history in his homeland, one that he felt and loved every single day of his life. For the longest time, while wandering around in the modern and 'hip' city of Toronto, Allen felt like an outsider. The people in his classes and walking down the cluttered streets didn't know history; they didn't have roots in their cities like he did. Time changed his mind though.

Canada was a truly beautiful place, full of life and promise, with a wild, rugged beauty that Allen loved. He loved the tall, imposing trees, the delicate flowers growing in the soft ground, the chubby birds singing as they soared through the air, the wind rippling over calm water. Though he had been wary of a new place, he quickly learned that everything about it was unique and interesting. Everything made him want to write a song for it. His own little 'garden' was more like a small clearing in the woods than an actual garden, full of the natural, wild beauty that characterized the country he now called home.

Now, Allen wasn't completely alone on the lake. There were several other cottages on its shores and a marina with a small store and restaurant that many of the summer time inhabitants frequented. Allen hadn't headed out there yet; more focused on getting his home somewhat straightened up and organized than getting to know his soon to be neighbours. Getting his piano and recording equipment into the sunbathed living room turned music room on the far side of the house had been a battle, and Allen was glad he had gotten that out of the way first. Silver eyes shut and Allen sighed tiredly, listening to his young dog Timcampy exploring the area and the wind singing in the trees as he relaxed in the shade.

"Hey there!"

The young man nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound of a voice, having fallen into a light dose. Allen had always bee easily lulled by the sounds of nature and the sweet song he had been composing in his head hadn't helped him stay awake much. Looking up at the dock, Allen spotted a redheaded man about his age pulling up to the dock in a small motorboat, waving in a friendly manner. He was sitting down, but Allen could see he was tall and lean. There was a bit of distance between them but he could make out a large black splotch covering his right eye, which took the slightly drowsy young man a moment to identify as an eye patch. Allen waved back as the man grinned, jumping out of his boat and tethering it to one of the rusty metal rings on the dock.

Allen stood and brushed himself off, walking over to greet the unexpected visitor, who straightened and walked off the dock, holding his hand out to the now close by Allen.

"Hey, neighbour, I'm Lavi Bookman. I heard someone bought the old Archer place so I thought I'd come by and say hello! My grandfather and I live just on the other side of that island over there, so we're pretty close by yeah?" They shook hands and Allen smiled, nodding. Allen found himself wondering why the older man had an eye patch on, but he didn't want to offend his new neighbour by asking so he chose not to say anything on the matter.

"Yeah we are... I'm Allen Walker. Its' a pleasure to meet you, Lavi." The redheaded man blinked and broke out into an even wider smile.

"Hey, you're British!" Allen chuckled lightly and nodded. "What are you doing out in the middle of bum fuck nowhere Canada?"

"Ah, well, this is a pretty area so I thought it would be nicer to live in than the city." Lavi nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, you staying here for the summer with your folks?"

"...Huh? No, I'm going to live here by myself... It's my house... I bought it with my own money." Lavi's head tipped to the side and his rust coloured eyebrows drew together.

"But you're just a kid aren't you? How'd you get the money for a place on the water?"

"... I'm twenty three..." Lavi's only visible eye widened so far Allen wondered briefly if it would roll out of his head.

"Holy _SHIT_! Really? I thought you were like, sixteen or seventeen or something!" The British man twitched in annoyance and sighed.

"I get that a lot. But yes, really, I am in my twenties."

Lavi composed himself again and grinned easily. "Well, damn. Sorry, man. Good news for you though! A couple other people and I out here on the lake were going to get together later tonight for a few drinks back at my place. Wanna come by? Meet some fellow cottage dwellers? If you don't have a boat in the water yet I'll run over and pick you up." Another thing Allen loved about Canada was the people. They were all friendly for the most part and welcomed him with open arms.

"Sure! Sounds like it would be fun. I should have my boat in by then, so I'm sure it will be fine. You're just around the bend, correct? I should be able to find the place easily enough..." the smile returned to Allen's face and Lavi nodded.

"Awesome. The more the merrier and all that jazz. Anyway, I th- oooh! Is that a dog? What's his name? He's so cute!" Timcampy woofed and trotted over to Lavi, sniffing his hand and licking his face as the man swept the pup into his arms.

"Ah, this is Timcampy. He's just about four months old." Allen patted the golden dog's fluffy head and smiled and Lavi laughed, allowing the puppy to lick his cheek.

"He's a friendly little thing. He and my dog, Hammer, would get along! You should bring him with you when you pop over." Lavi smiled as he set the squirming Timcampy down.

Allen nodded as the dog sat at his feet, tongue hanging out of his grinning mouth. "I might. He's a bit of a handful though, so maybe once we settle in a bit more." Lavi nodded in understanding.

"Well, the offer stands if you want to bring him." Allen smiled gratefully and watched as the object of their conversation scampered off to try and catch a butterfly.

"So, how long have you been out here?" Allen asked, hoping to keep the conversation going.

"Ah, well the property as been in the family for years, so pretty much since I was born. I fixed a lot of it up the last few years though because I'm working in town so I figure, hey, why not live in a pretty cottage on the lake? My grandfather doesn't care as long as I don't break anything. It beats the hell out of living in an apartment let me tell you." Lavi grinned, sticking his hands in the pockets of his baggy shorts.

"Oh, I would have to agree with you there. Where do you work?" Allen asked.

"An engineering firm in Lakeshore, doing calculations at a desk from nine to five. Exciting? Hell no. interesting? Hell yeah. I was the geek in high school who got straight A's in math and science. What about you?"

"I'm a composer. I do some odd jobs on the side, but I mostly stick with music." Lavi's face went blank, his jaw dropping.

"Wait, wait, wait... are you telling me you're _the_ Allen Walker? The guy who composed the entire '_D. Gray-man'_ soundtrack?! And had a hand in just about every successful movie's music in the last four years?!" Allen blinked; quite surprised Lavi recognized his name.

"Ah, well... yes... I am..." he chuckled, a little embarrassed.

"Oh my god that's so awesome! I watched the first movie you composed for: _Akuma Virus_. You remember, the one with Keanu Reeves? Yeah, it sucked, but the music was awesome so I looked you up! Couldn't find any pictures, but every movie by you since has been the shit, man! I can't believe you moved here of all places! The soundtrack for '_Jester of God_' blew me away!" Seeming to finally notice Allen's slightly freaked out face, Lavi stopped, smiling sheepishly. "I'm a bit of a movie loser... sorry if I'm freaking you out."

"N-No, it's great, I mean, hey, I've never been recognized before, so it's kind of cool..." Lavi looked relieved as Allen smiled.

"Well, cool then. Hey, you want any help getting your stuff set up? I'd be happy to if you need it." Lavi looked eager but Allen shook his head, chuckling.

"No, thank you, but I've got all the heavy lifting done. It's mostly just hooking up cables and hanging up clothes at this point."

Lavi looked a little disappointed but he let it go, smiling again as he spoke. "Alright, that's cool. Let me know if you need any help though. You've got a lot of work to do around the place right?" Allen nodded. "Well, I'm pretty good with my hands, and we're all friends up here so I'm sure a few of the guys and I will have no problem helping you out."

"I appreciate it, Lavi. I'll be sure to come to you first when I start getting to the big projects." Lavi grinned happily and clapped Allen warmly on the shoulder.

"Good, man. Hey, I gotta go finish setting some stuff up. You're definitely coming then?" Another affirmative nod from Allen. "Sweet! I'll see you then. Oh, and don't worry about bringing beer; I'm supplying! And dress warm, yeah? We're having a campfire!" Lavi bounced a bit like an overexcited six year old and Allen couldn't help but smile at the attractive older man.

"I'll be sure to do that, Lavi." The two men said their farewells and Lavi jumped back into his boat, and sped away, waving at Allen as he zoomed across the glassy surface of the lake. Allen leaned against a near by tree, watching the ripples in the water with a thoughtful smile.

----

"Ah! There he is! Allen! Over here!" Lavi ran out onto the dock, waving happily as Allen pulled up in the small boat he had invested in. She wasn't the prettiest thing on the water but she had a good engine and Allen knew how to fix her if anything went wrong. Allen tossed a line out to Lavi's waiting hand and climbed out, tethering the other end to the dock expertly. His years in boy scouts came in handy sometimes.

"Glad you could make it, Al!" Lavi slung a friendly arm around Allen's shoulders, making him flush a little in embarrassment as he was dragged towards a congregation of people. "Let me introduce you to everyone yeah? That there, the pretty lady with the curly hair is Miranda. She lives all the way down by the marina."

The woman who appeared to be in her early thirties smiled shyly and nodded with a timid wave at Allen before Lavi moved on. "That's Krory. He lives in the creepy Gothic place out on the island about a kilometre out to the east." The man looked slightly offended at the description of his cottage, but flipped the odd stripe of white hair out of his eyes, smiling warmly at Allen.

"That's Marie, Daisha, and Yuu-Chan. They're all foster brothers and they live just around the other bend by your house during the summer. Yuu-Chan is a boy, by the way, so don't go hitting on him or he might just claw your face off." The largest of the three men Lavi had pointed out chuckled lightly as a long haired Japanese man- whom Allen _had_ actually assumed to be a girl until Lavi stated otherwise- glared murderously at the energetic redhead. A brown haired man with an odd taste for face paint looked more than a little amused as 'Yuu-Chan' started muttering angrily in what Allen could only assume was Japanese.

"The cute girl over there with pigtails is Lenalee and the man beside her is her older brother Koumi. Don't hit on Lena. Koumi will castrate you and feed it to your dog while you watch." Allen blinked and raised an eyebrow as the man affectionately patted his little sister's head. Surely such a kind, gentle looking man wouldn't do something like that...

Allen didn't have any more time to ponder on it as he was spun around, Lavi's arm still around his shoulders to see three old men sitting together, enjoying their conversation. "That's Professor Kevin Yeager, Mr. Froi Tiedoll and my panda of a grandfather John Bookman. They-ARUGH!" Lavi was suddenly on the ground and the smallest of the three elderly gentlemen was towering over him menacingly.

"You insolent brat! I am _not_ a panda, nor do I want to be referred to as such! Learn to respect your elders!" Allen gulped and took a step back as the redhead sat up, clutching his head.

"OW! Fuck, that hurts! I really should have you put in a home you know that, old man?! Seriously!" They continued to bicker and Allen watched, unsure of whether he should step in or not. There was a soft laugh behind him and Allen turned to see Lenalee standing there with a friendly smile. She really was a cute girl Allen noted, blinking at her momentarily, she had a pretty smile and big eyes; the kind of girl he probably would have tried to date if he liked girls that way.

"Don't mind them. You're Allen right? You just moved into the old Archer place?" Allen nodded a little shyly. "Well, it's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Lenalee Lee. Let's go properly meet the others, shall we?"

"That would be wonderful, Lenalee, thank you." He smiled warmly and walked with her to properly introduce himself as Lavi and his grandfather swore at each other in several different languages.

The rest of the evening was full of laughter and telling stories around the fire while getting acquainted with each other. Allen had a wonderful time, even going so far as to accept a bottle of beer from Lavi when the redhead plopped beside him as they gathered close to listen to a horror story. Koumi ended up telling what would have been a great story, if not for the fact he ended up censoring most of it because his 'precious baby sister' was listening. Allen scared them all with a common English myth, changing a few details as he went to help it fit their Canadian environment and smiling creepily through out the entire thing. Lavi cracked them up with the stories of his high school days, lifting up the skirts of his teacher and telling anyone the colour of her underwear for ten dollars.

By the end of the night Allen was accepted into their circle, with the exception of Kanda, who insisted he was an idiot bean sprout, much to Allen's annoyance. Most people were a little drunk, including Lavi, who was clinging to him, muttering about ninja pandas and –to Allen's embarrassment, 'adorable little bean sprouts'. People started leaving and soon it was just Allen and Lavi sitting beside the slowly dying fire together.

"Thank you for inviting me, Lavi... I had a great time." Allen patted the drowsy man's head, chuckling lightly. Lavi was a funny drunk, Allen decided; he did stupid things for a laugh before getting sleepy, picking a person and cuddling until he fell asleep. Judging from the slightly relieved look on Kanda's face, it was usually the scowling Japanese man who ended up with Lavi's drunken affection.

"Anytime, Al-baby, anytime..." Lavi muttered, nuzzling his face into Allen's neck. "We should hang out, just the two of us some time... it would be more great." The white haired man blushed but nodded anyway.

"I'd like that."

----

Before Allen quite knew what happened, an entire year had passed. He felt more at home in that house and with his friends on the lake than he did anywhere else, like it was the one place he was always supposed to be. The people around him had accepted him like they would a long lost family member and he became close friends with almost everyone. Especially Lavi.

From the moment he and Lavi had met they had been friends. It was almost like an unspoken agreement between the two of them, inviting each other over for dinner and having campfires together and dropping by uninvited to each others house whenever they felt like it. Their friendship quickly grew strong and soon enough they found themselves calling each other 'best friend'. They had celebrated Allen's twenty fourth birthday together, and gotten smashed together, they'd even gone fishing out of boredom together. Lavi had taken to stopping by randomly and flinging himself over Allen's couch to watch TV or a movie, often while trying to coerce Allen into getting into some kind of trouble with him.

Over time Allen started picking up confusing signals from Lavi. From the beginning, Allen had been honest with Lavi about his sexuality and Lavi, much to Allen's surprise and delight, had no problem with having a gay best friend. He had just smiled and ruffled Allen's hair just like normal and said: "There's nothing wrong with liking guys Al, I'm bi you know. Men are just a sexy as the ladies sometimes!". The smile that Lavi flashed him that moment was one Allen would soon learn could and would make his heart pound every single time he saw it. As time went on though, Allen found Lavi would ruffle his hair, or throw an arm around his shoulders, or drape himself over Allen more than most other friends did. It was like Lavi wanted to touch him, to be touched by him. Lavi offered countless times to help Allen out with the hundreds of projects that his cottage required, especially they jobs that required the two of them to work closely together for long periods of time.

Originally, Allen's cottage had been a rundown old thing: the singles had needed replacing, the dark brown siding had needed to be power washed, the doors and windows had needed replacing. The wiring was shot, the plumbing leaked, the walls needed painting, there were rats in the cellar, and the list of things to do kept going and going. When Allen first realized the magnitude of the project he had taken on upon buying the house, he had very nearly burst into tears. He had fallen so much in love with the wild looking garden and the beautiful landscape around the semi-secluded cottage that he hadn't even cared about the negatives in the house. He hadn't even listened to the realtor as she told him about them, which was something he wished he'd had the brains to do.

Though, when he was sitting at his piano, day dreaming about Lavi, looking out at his garden, at his little bay, at the tall pine trees just a little ways across the water on the island across from him, he couldn't help but be thankful he had bought the house. It was his, and now that he had lived there he found himself missing it when he went away, missing the sound of the wind dancing through the pine trees, missing the people that had become his neighbours, missing Lavi.

A good round of bashing his head on the table for his stupidity and large amounts of vanilla ice cream later and Allen was ready and willing to take on the challenge of fixing up his home. He started with the plumbing and planned to slowly begin working his way out, driving into the near by town, clothes and hair soaking wet, running into the hardware store in need of guidance. After a long battle, Allen finally admitted defeat and went to Lavi, drenched from the pipes in the basement bursting, head down, and tail between his legs.

Allen didn't even _think_ about going _near_ the electrical work. He didn't want to be found in his deathtrap of a house, fried to a crisp because he'd tinkered with the wrong wire. So, again, he went to Lavi and within a week they had the worst of the wiring mended. There were still a few hiccups, but the majority was done. That had led to Allen preparing Lavi dinner for the first time as a thank you for helping him so much, something both Lavi and Allen had enjoyed more than they would let on. After that project was done, Allen was called away on business for a good two months. By the time he got back he was so bogged down with work he didn't even think of looking at any part of his house except for the music room, the bedroom, and occasionally the kitchen.

More than a few times Lavi had come over to check on Allen, driving his pickup truck over the ice in the winter and driving his boat out there the rest of the year, and found the younger man slumped over his piano, snoring, pencil still clutched in his hand with sheet music stuck to his forehead. Allen would usually wake up as Lavi lifted him up off the bench, but he could never bring himself to make Lavi aware of the fact. He would always find himself too warm and comfortable in those strong arms, too content with the knowledge Lavi cared about him enough to lay him down on the couch he had on the far side of the sunny music room and pull a blanket over him to even think of moving.

By the time summer rolled around again, Lavi had started crashing at Allen's house several nights a week, saying that the drive into town was shorter from Allen's cottage. At first, the twenty four year old man had found it strange to have someone else living with him who wasn't his father. He'd never been in that close of a relationship with anyone before, but it quickly became instinct to cook for Lavi, or to make sure he left enough hot water in the shower for him. It was simple and easy to be so close to another person, and he loved it. He found himself wishing for more than just the intimate friendship of the other man, but fear kept him from saying anything.

----

Allen looked up from his piano at the yell from his front door and glanced out the window, spotting a familiar boat strung to his dock. Lavi had originally said he wasn't going to stay over that night, so it was a more than pleasant surprise to see the boat floating there. '_Must have changed his mind..._' Allen thought with a smile.

"Come on in, Lavi, I'm in the music room!" Allen called, smiling as he heard the door slam behind the redhead. Within moments the older man poked his head into the room and smiled that perfect smile that made Allen's heart skip a beat or three every time.

"Hey, Al. I was just going to go hang at the marina for a while. You wanna come? Or are yah too busy being the magical madman of movie music?" The white haired man chuckled and shook his head.

"Sorry, Lavi, I really need to get this piece written... rain check?" Lavi made a pouty disappointed face and stepped fully into the room.

"Its cool. I know you're busy at weird times. Mind if I sit and watch though? I've always wanted to see the artist at work." In the year since Allen had settled in, he and Lavi may have become close friends, but Allen had never really let Lavi watch while he was composing. Lavi was a smart, witty and almost unfairly attractive man who for some reason or other found Allen absolutely fascinating. It was all Allen could to stop himself from melting into a puddle every time he flashed that smile, so having that intense green eye locked on him while he tried to focus would be nearly impossible.

"W-well, I suppose if you wanted to sure. I was just finishing up a piece for the new movie, '_Crowned Clown_'; you know the one coming out in January? Have you heard of it?" It was a risk, but Lavi had asked for it, and Allen could hardly ever find it in himself to say no to the older man.

"Has anyone _not_ heard of it?!" Lavi nearly squealed, "I've been wanting to see that since I saw the preview! It's going to be the best movie of the year!" Allen chuckled as Lavi hugged himself in excitement. Normally, Lavi was a pretty laid back guy but when it came to movies, especially ones that Allen was composing for, he was reduced to nothing more that a whimpering teenage girl.

"Well, I guess you get a musical preview then." Allen smiled, gesturing to a chair for Lavi to sit as he turned back to his sheet music. The music room was a converted living room, seeing as the house had two Allen kept the smaller one pretty much empty of everything except a couch, his piano, guitar, violin and various other small percussion instruments he often used. Sheet music coated the floor most of the time, except for the path he kept clear to piano, couch and the chair full of music textbooks he liked having around for reference. There was large section of wall that had been knocked out and replaced with a giant window, allowing the sun to bathe the room in its golden glow for most of the day. Several times during the course of any day he was composing, Allen would stop playing and look out the window, watching the trees of his wild garden sway, or the sunlight bounce off the calm waters of the lake. It was beautiful and calming and no matter how many times he looked at the view from his window he could find something new, interesting, and inspiring.

"You have no idea how happy that makes me, Allen! Can I have your babies? Please?" Allen laughed at the joking tone in Lavi's voice, shaking his head as he positioned his hands over the ivory and ebony keys.

"Sorry, Lavi. You have to be a woman to have someone's children." Lavi pouted and moved the heavy books to the ground beside the chair, sitting and leaning an elbow on the armrest with an excited sparkle in his emerald green eye.

"Fine, spoil my fun. Make up for it by working your magic then, Beethoven?" Allen chuckled, shaking his head with a smile as his fingers started to dance across the keys, playing the final edit of his work-in-progress piece. It was a beautiful song in Allen's mind, charged full of raw emotion. The scene in the movie he was writing it for was the reunion of two young lovers torn apart by an evil force in the middle of a war. Allen had tried to capture the longing and sorrow the two had gone through before the joy of reunion overrode the underlying hurt. His silver eyes slid shut as he played the song and Allen missed the wide eyed expression Lavi was giving him and the flush spreading across his sun-kissed cheeks.

Allen hit the last note and broke into a soft smile, completely content with the piece of art he had created with his own hand, forgetting the man sitting across the room from him. After creating something like that, Allen had to take it in slowly, savour the moment a bliss that came with finishing a piece. Allen was brought out of his daze at the sound of Lavi standing and blinked as the older man strode across the sunny room.

"Lavi?" The red haired man didn't answer as he stopped in front of the young composer and leaned down to cup his face tenderly. The older man looked so conflicted yet so determined it silenced any other words Allen might have wanted to say, stopped his breath and sped up the heart in his chest until Allen felt it knocking against his ribs.

"I'm sorry, Al, I've just wanted to do this for so long..." The shorter man's lips parted to ask what he was talking about, but Lavi swooped down, pressing their lips together in a kiss that blanked Allen's mind of everything except how _right_ it felt to have Lavi's lips against his own. Surprise kept him from responding as Lavi kissed him so gently, as if trying to speak to him, to tell Allen that Lavi had those same thoughts late at night, that he felt exactly the same as he did. That he had been longing for someone within reach but so damn far away too. After what seemed like eons, Lavi pulled back panting, thinking he had been rejected because of Allen's lack of response.

"S-Sorry, I shouldn't have, I-I... I'll go. I'm sorry." Lavi stood and made to bolt but a hand caught him by the wrist. Lavi didn't look back as Allen stood slowly, and the white haired man was a little glad for that, needing a moment to turn his mind back on after such an incredible kiss.

"Lavi..." The tone of Allen's voice seemed to give Lavi a little bit of courage and he turned just a bit, looking as though he was expecting a punch to the face. Allen pulled on Lavi's wrist and leaned forward, capturing his lips, doing his best to send the same message back to Lavi, afraid but excited at the same time. Allen wasn't usually so bold in anything other than his music, and he was frightened he had been too forward. But after a moment of shock Lavi's arms came up around Allen and he deepened the kiss, sending the younger boy into pure bliss, knowing he had made the right choice.

They stood like that for a long time, arms wrapped around each other in the sunlit room over looking the garden Allen loved so much. When they parted all Allen could think of doing was to stare into Lavi's one, perfect eye and panting to catch his breath as Lavi stared back. The moment was perfect and golden, everything anyone imagined for the first kiss of what Allen prayed would be a long lasting relationship.

"Lavi... I-I really like you..." Allen managed to stutter out and Lavi broke into the brightest smile Allen had ever seen, lighting up the room more than the sunshine ever could.

"Well, perhaps we should go out to dinner together sometime... and maybe a movie after that, and we could drive into Peterborough half an hour away and go to the aquarium. Oh! Oh! And after that we could have a picnic together on the island~!" Allen smiled back at the older man and nodded, leaning up to kiss those tempting lips again.

"I'd like that, Lavi..."

----

**END**

_AN: D: that took FOREVER!_

_Happy Laven week All! Please review!_


	8. Chapter 8

Afterglow

_AN: I seriously dislike my brother. I had planned to write the bulk of this before I went to a friend's house today BUT he decided I haven't been getting enough sleep and changed the volume on my alarm. :| I was not impressed._

_On the plus side, I got to bake cookies :D_

_Oh and yeah. I totally thought this got posted but apparently it didn't. :| sorry guys!_

_Laven week, last day; Finishing._

_AU_

_:D I'm going out with a "bang" everyone. . sort of._

----

_This is it..._ Allen thought, pressing himself closer to the warm body pinning him to the wall. He and Lavi had been friends for so long, been so close, and gone through so much together. Allen thought he was going insane when he realised he wanted more than friendship from the older teen. He found himself craving the touch of his best friend, going out of his way to even just brush hands or bump shoulders. It was almost maddening to want someone so badly, but not be able to say anything for fear of losing them completely.

So Allen had resigned himself to suffering in silence, waking up late at night with an ache in a place he wished to god he didn't have and finding release in his own hand. But somehow he had found himself in the situation where Lavi left him no other choice but to confess.

"Allen, you're acting weird and I don't like it. Tell me what's wrong, damn it!" those simple words had cornered Allen. He'd had no way to get out of the position Lavi had forced him in. The redhead could always tell when he was lying, no matter what the situation, he always _knew_. It was something Allen loved and hated about him.

He'd tried to deny that anything was wrong but Lavi was persistent when he thought something was wrong. Lavi just wanted to help and he wanted to make his friend feel better, Allen knew, but he just couldn't take the thought of Lavi's face contorted in disgust, the rejection Allen was sure to face.

But there was no way to get out of it, Lavi was relentless and Allen could feel him patience wearing thin. He didn't want to tell Lavi, but the redhead was too stubborn for his own good.

"You want to know what's wrong? Fine! Don't blame me for anything; you're the one who wanted to know!" Allen figured he was going to lose his best friend anyway; he might as well at least get a taste of what he would never have. So, with that in mind he grabbed Lavi by the collar and pulled him down into a desperate kiss. Lavi had instantly gone stiff with what Allen assumed to be disgust but he didn't care. Lavi's lips were so soft, so perfectly moulded for his he couldn't pull away.

He had to savour this one taste.

But then something he'd never really imagined possible happened. Lavi's arms came up around him, pulling him closer as he returned the kiss with as much passion as Allen. They kissed like they were going to die tomorrow, tongues plunging into each other's mouths, mapping out the unexplored territory, bodies pressed tightly together. Before Allen quite knew what was happening he was pressed against the wall of his bedroom, Lavi's thigh between his legs as the redhead's hands moved up and down his body hungrily.

Allen let his hands slide up Lavi's shirt, feeling the firm muscles and hot flesh there. The taller boy shivered, pressing Allen more firmly against the wall as he swiftly undid the buttons on the younger teen's dress shirt. Allen gasped loudly as Lavi's lips left his mouth, trailing burning kisses down his neck, fingers trailing across the exposed skin of his chest slowly.

"L-Lavi..." The redhead's movements stilled and he pulled back enough to look Allen properly in the eyes, panting slightly.

"A-Am I... um, did I... maybe you didn't... I-I... s-sorry, uh... I..." Allen silenced him with a finger pressed against his lips and a soft smile.

"Please, don't say sorry... just... please..." Allen wrapped his arms around Lavi's neck and pulled him close. The tension in Lavi's body vanished and he leaned against Allen, letting his eyes slide shut and a soft sigh out.

"I thought for a second that I imagined you kissing me first..." Lavi chuckled slightly, "Scared me." Allen nodded, still not quite believing that Lavi had really kissed him, touched him like he had dreamed of for what felt like so long...

"Y-You, um... you... feel the same?" Allen's voice as timid, quiet, as if he was afraid to speak too loudly and dispel the illusion he could be dreaming up.

"Y-yeah. I just... I mean, I never even though you would like me back..." Allen could have laughed at the utter ridiculousness of the situation. They had both been longing for each other for god knows how long, yet they had both been too scared to say anything to change it. They had wasted so much time...

"We're both idiots then..." Allen smiled, leaning forward and kissing Lavi tenderly, shivering as the boy kissed him back just as gently. Before Allen quite knew how it happened his legs were wrapped around Lavi's waist as they stumbled backwards in the general direction if Allen's bed. Once they were horizontal, Allen felt his blood start to heat up as they were pressed so closely together. He could feel Lavi's arousal already pressing into his hip and though the thought of Lavi taking him then and there excited him, it wasn't something he couldn't allow to happen.

"L-Lavi... w-we have to stop..." Allen gasped out, pulling back so he was straddling the older boy. "I-its too fast. I-I mean, I-I do want it, b-but... give it a little time, okay?" Lavi looked a little disappointed, but he nodded.

"You're right. S-sorry... I got carried away. I'm just a little... over excited at the fact you... you know, want me." He smiled guiltily, shifting a bit so Allen wasn't getting poked anymore.

"Heh, yeah, I feel the same... I just... want to savour the whole... start of a relationship, or whatever it is we're doing..." Allen was tentative, not wanting to get his hopes too high in case Lavi would inadvertently break his heart.

Lavi nodded, smiling sheepishly. "You want to uh, date?" he looked so hopeful Allen could have cried. They had really been going through exactly the same thing, feeling the same pain and suffering in silence for so long. Allen was going to end that, right then and there.

"Yeah, I'd really, really like that." Relief flooded Lavi's features and he leaned up, kissing his new boyfriend softly, bringing an end to all of the pain they had both dealt with for far too long, and giving birth to the joy they could both share in each other.

----

_End_

_AN: meh. Not my best. :3 kinda sexy. I like that. Was going to do smut, but chickened out at the last moment. _

_Sorry this glitched or something and didn't post. :\ _

_Happy Laven week everyone._

_It was a great ride._

_~NellaXIval _


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